Journal 2

Looking at what self-awareness is, is a topic that has always been close to my heart. However, it is such a vast, deep, and soul-searching topic. To some people, they do not realize the need and never had they had self-awareness. To others, it is critical. How ironic can this be when every being is here for one life but pursuing different paths? I do wonder how many paths or logarithms combinations this universe has?

​​This session itself wrecked up a wave of memories and emotions. An incident that I encountered 9 years ago wounded and scarred me. It is emotional turmoil, shock, painstaking decisions, and disbelief. I would say it is the most painful experience in my life when my top 5 values of mine are challenged consciously and unconsciously. I was at the lowest point of life when I felt angry, betrayed, used, and thrown away. I felt so stripped, so naked, so blind, and so silly like a broken vase.

What happened? In 2005, I was headhunted by the owner and founder of this consultancy cum recruitment agency that specializes in providing manpower to the hospitality and airline industries. I left my flying career and joined this company because a flight attendant has an expiry date. I joined this company because the values, mission and vision of the company and the owner/founder were in synch with mine and the kind of services that it provides was meaningful/purposeful. The company provides a work and study program to young people (especially to the lower-income family children) providing them with a career to advance in hospitality in the long term. The people we recruit will get a monthly paycheck (5 day work week) and 2 days of school enjoying a fully paid education programme (Diploma or Degree) over a 2 or 3-year contract. It was a win-win strategy for both its clients who are facing manpower crunch and the recruits who need to advance their careers. The company had a client in the leading hotel, retail, resorts, F & B industries. And 2 years after my joining, due to my background in the airlines from previous experience, I assisted the owner/founder to expand its business into the recruitment and outsourcing of cabin crew in the airline industry. Clients include Emirates, All Nippon Airways, China Airlines, Qatar Airways, Jetstar Asia, Tiger Airways are some to name.

Unfortunately, being employed for 9 years in this company, things changed. The company was making good and stable revenue in the millions. The owner/founder became motivated by naked ambition, greed, and women. I was informed that he was asking for sexual favors from recruits who applied to be a cabin crew in exchange for granting them a job with our airline clients. The worst is that this info came from one of my clients and requested me to investigate. When the truth surfaced, my entire world crashed. It was my bottom line, and I could not tolerate it. How could he touch my staff which I had reiterated to him that he could enjoy women out of our care, he is not to use or abuse them sexually. My crew were my babies, I felt that I had not done enough to protect them. I left the company. The entire team resigned leaving him alone. Three months later, the company was sold to another businessman. However, the condition that the client put up with the new owner was to hire me back. If he could not do so, the entire business deal is off. I agreed to be employed by the new owner, but our values were very different. The new boss is a businessman, shrewd and sharp one who sees only the dollars. The welfare of my team and 250 crew were not well taken care of. In 2018, I spent 4 years stabilising the business and managing the client’s and entire crew’s expectations, I left the company in search of a new pasture.

Till today, I am still in touch with my clients, team, staff, and crew I had worked with or recruited or placed. It was a big realization for me looking back that how leadership, core values, ethos, mission and vision gets in the way of progress in a business. It not only bonds and transform organizations, communities, and global systems. The partners that the business chooses to work with or vice versa, too hold similar core values, ethics, mission, and vision. Hence, personal, and corporate values are inseparable. It defines who are you, what you do, why and how you do it.